Sunday, June 15, 2008

Holding On To Hope

"Be doers of the word and not hearers only"
-James 1:22


How do you hold on to hope? Believe it or not - it is not as daunting as it might sound. You simply "become" hope. To "become" hope you "become" pro-active. That means, you make the decision that nothing else matters in your world except for one thing - you have hope. If you want to find hope with all your heart and soul, it is time to put feet to your faith and go after it with a vengeance.

I wrote these words awhile back after I had conquered my own battle with cancer. And now they come back to haunt me as I struggle to hold on to a different type of hope. Just as it is easier to endure your own pain rather than watch someone you love suffer...........it is easier to rest in hope when it is your own life. The stakes are so much diffferent when you must keep the faith and humbly surrender to "THY will" when it affects someone you love. There is so much more fear to fight, patience and trust to be had, and loss to endure when it is all about someone that you love and cherish.

Yes, this fight is alot harder for me than my own bout with conquering cancer. But, I am forever grateful to all those I know and those I don't know who have rushed in to offer love and encouragement to our family on a daily basis. Our mailbox is brimming over each day with letters and cards. The phones ring regularly. And I can feel the massive prayers being prayed for Johnny and our family.

This has been an extra tough week after the good weekend we had last week. The good news is we were able to get under the care of Mayo Clinic immediately so my confidence is restored that Johnny has the best medical care in THE UNIVERSE! Mayo Clinic is truely the "disneyworld of medicine." I thank God for that grace. It came just in time as Johnny struggled through the devasting effects of the chemo-therapy and the neulasta shot to rebuild his white blood cells.

His bones screamed with pain all week and he also had flu symptoms which sucked every ounce of energy out of him. I had to take him back to Mayo Clinic Friday so they could give him an IV to rehydrate him. His stomache was "tore up" and he didnt eat much. He unfortunately was in the bathroom every several hours for many days which caused him to become dehydrated. Today is the first day he did not lose weight when he weighed.

Today is a special Father's Day because we don't know if it will be Johnny's last one. I encourage all of you to cherish your Fathers if they are still alive and let them know how much you love them. The recent death of my favorite news commentator, Tim Russert, really hit me hard because it reminds me that all we are promised is today. So today go find your Father and make this moment count. And don't forget to thank the most important Father of all.....our heavenly Father.

1 comment:

Chip said...

Your faith inspires all of us, and Johnny's faith during this Battle reminds me that I must live the word of Rhienhold Niebur...the long version, not just the short version..."living each day at a time, cherishing each moment at a time..living in thankful contemplation of him who presides over us all"
Your battle and Dad's battle with Cancer is a hallmark battle that gives us all hope for Johnny
...A special Father's Day to Johnny and my Father Laurence Paul Bowdren Sr...